As a human being living on this earth, you’re no stranger to suffering: it exists loudly, not capable of whispering about the pain it causes.

Suffering is as uninvited as it is loud, its voice uncontrolled as it rattles your being.

It’s overwhelming and can take away any semblances of joy and peace — and if you’ve gone through it enough, hope might likely feel like another myth, or something that’s not meant for you.

This is what pain and suffering can do to us. This is what trauma – the literal Greek word for wound – does to us.

I know, from both firsthand experience and from my clients, that the pain from many emotional (and sometimes physical) wounds of the past and present not only feel loud but also have a way of not seeming to heal. You’ve experience things so overwhelming that it’s hard to know where to begin, let alone how to even “cope”. Chances are, in many of those experiences, you may have just been trying to survive…but ever since then, you’ve been in constant survival mode that is as exhausting – and while it may feel as if it’s all you know, you also know that surviving isn’t necessarily the same as simple living.  

And yet, with all these unresolved painful experiences – how do we even go about how to live? After all, you may feel that so much of life has already been taken away from you.

Painful experiences that I’m referring to may include:

• Physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, either in childhood or adult relationships. These experiences often show up in flashbacks, nightmares, or triggering memories in everyday experiences. These experiences may have also negatively shaped how they interact with themselves, their relationships, and the world, sometimes finding themselves repeating the same patterns as their harmers without intending to

• Neglect from a caregiver, or from systems who were supposed to be taking care of you, that lead you vulnerable to multiple sufferings that your mind continues to go back to

• Unhealthy codependent relationships that lead to feeling overwhelmed and lost with what to do, and that may have sometimes lead to abusive relationship dynamics (intentionally or unintentionally)

• Poor boundaries with systems they work for and/or engage with, or with people in their life, that seems to drain them - but out of fear of loss, retaliation, or judgement they keep saying yes to things they don’t want to

• Discriminations and violations such as racism, sexism, homophobia, body shaming, and classism experiences individually, collectively and/or systematically, that has left them feeling terrified, hopeless, discouraged, and trapped with the ever-present out of control systems of White supremacy, misogyny, and heteronormativity

• BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and Persons of Color) and multiethnic/mixed-identified and adults who, along with racial trauma, have challenges in finding comfort and security in their racial/ethnic/cultural identity

• Survivors of abuse, hurt and isolation within their place of spiritual or religious worship, causing them to have challenges in their own sense of self when it comes to meaning, spiritual connection and their relationship with God or any other Higher Power

• Betrayals from people they loved so much and that they defined such a strong sense of themselves within those relationships, that has left them distraught, isolated, distrusting, disconnected, and unsure of who and how they are supposed to be and handle such a deep, wounding hurt that feels all-encompassing

• The death of somebody you deeply love leaving a hole in your heart

• Having been in or witnessed an accident or natural disaster that has heightened your fear of which limits the experiences you engage with in life

It’s possible that these forms of pain have left an impact so strong - so loud - that it’s caused you to feel unsure of yourself, your worth, and who you are anymore — causing you to struggle with connecting back to yourself and your sense of identity in this world after being exposed to so much spirit-crushing discouragements.

The sadness, worries, fear, and hopelessness after these experiences may have left you feeling restless and yet exhausted, lonely and avoidant and yet craving for more in your life. It may feel as if you’re in a cycle feels too hard to try and understand how to get out of, possibly leaving you feeling lonelier and more unable to be helped.

 It’s also possible that you’ve tried to speak on how you’ve been hurting, but the response you received was shame, rejection, dismissal, or being misunderstood - confirming the belief that their pain is a burden not worth being shared. For some of my clients, these experiences bring up memories of the same dismissals and rejections happening in their past, yet another pain unresolved and yet has likely built the foundation of their insecurities.

But in the midst of your pain, there’s hopeful news: help is available, and despite what life has told you, and it’s possible to for you to live a meaningful life with a stronger sense of identity and hope, regardless of those very real hurts of the past, present and future that has disconnected you from the person you want to be!

You’re worth experiencing the meaningful life you want to live.

You’re worth unapologetically sharing the truth of your hurting in the service of releasing your pain and having a healthier, kinder, fairer and balanced relationship with yourself and your emotions.

You’re worth exploring, recognizing and reconnecting with the very real strengths that exist within to fuel your healing journey -- empowering you to be the one to take control of the wheel for defining who you are and who you want to be for the rest of your life.

I’d love to help support you during your journey of relieving despair and reconnecting with hope.

After therapy, your life may look like:

• Understanding trauma (if applicable) and changing the self-shaming and pathological paradigm from “what’s wrong with me” to “what’s happened to me”;

• Learning how to manage unwanted memories, flashbacks, and unhelpful avoidances that make us feel stuck

• An improved sense of self-compassion

• Gaining confidence in your sense of self-worth, dignity and respect again, especially if you struggle with these thoughts of being unworthy, unloved and unsafe

• Having a healthier relationship with your emotions so that if you’re not feeling well emotionally or mentally, you know exactly what it is you need to do to take care of yourself

• An improved and fair, balanced outlook on the source of your sufferings and meaning making of experiences past and present, how that’s impacted you, and what that tells you about your best course of action

• Your relationships with others improving – especially in ways of boundaries, communication, and being present with the people you love and value

• Improved confidence and hope that you can still live a self-valued, meaningful life, even in the midst of the very real pains from past, present, and future. Suffering, in it’s inherit nature, may remain being loud – but you might find that, within time, the screeching will have less power to derail your life by hooking you in with its songs.

If any of the above ways on which I can help you sounds like it can really benefit you, let’s take the next step! Contact me so we can schedule a free consultation to confirm if I’m the right fit, and we can start up on your journey to a more hopeful future!